I know you’ve heard this phrase before:

I’ll do _____ when I get all my ducks in a row…

Or maybe in one of these other, less obvious (and more insidious) forms:

I’ll buy ____ when I get my finances balanced…

I’ll go ____ when I get enough time to spare…

I’ll go back to church when I get my life in order…

I’ll change jobs as soon as I get some more education…

I’ll tell my wife I love her when she starts doing …

I’ll spend more time with my children when work slows down…

I have honestly said or thought every single one of these, at more than one point in my life.

 

 

I suspect you have too.

 

 

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All of the above phrases have an element of truth, and are intended to convey heart and intent, yet lack conviction or commitment. The truth, as you and I both know, is that these statements are all predicated on a myth – the myth of ducks lining up.

Now, I’m not going to belabor the analogy here – yes, ducklings do line up behind the mama duck when walking. So yes, real, live, physical ducks *do* line up, at least as babies. In our lives however, the idea of our “ducks” lining up is built on three dangerous fallacies: waiting, control, and safety.

 

Fallacy #1: Waiting

Waiting on something to happen is inherently a passive position. I’m not actually *doing* anything to move toward my goal, I’m simply waiting for things to happen. I’m not actively rearranging my schedule to spend time with my wife or kids, I’m waiting for a natural opening.

This is a lie regarding your relationship to yourself – your own ability to act. Rather than committing to a course of action, and moving, you are sitting on the sidelines waiting.

I am a consummate waiter. I don’t like to pull the trigger until I absolutely have to, on any decision. I hide behind the idea that I am “researching” or “thinking” but the truth is, I generally make my decisions immediately, and then look for reasons to believe my own press.

The painful part of this lie is that it feels like wisdom – not acting until the time is right. And there is an element of truth to that, as long as you are doing everything within your power to be ready.

The antidote to this lie, is making conscious choices and taking action towards your goals. Develop a plan, and execute the plan.

 

Fallacy #2: Control

Ducks are wild animals, and are going to do as they please. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been much good at commanding ducks. The truth in the “ducks” is that some portion of every aspect of life is random chance.

That being said, our lives are not entirely random chance – as much as we might feel they are at times. By and large, we are the sum of our decisions and actions up to this point in time, and thus we have more control than we’d like to admit.

By acting as if we have no control, we are lying to ourselves about our ability to influence the outcome of the situation. Ultimately we do have to “roll with the punches” of life, but we don’t have to cede control to random chance.

It is entirely possible that I’ll get an urgent phone call from work as I’m getting ready for a date with my wife. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have other team members lined up to step in for me, so I can still spend time with Maria.

To counteract this fallacy, as you are building the plan to reach your goal, build in some contingencies. Make sure your plan isn’t so rigid as to break when the first random occurrence does happen – because it will.

No Battle Plan Survives Contact With the Enemy — Helmuth von Moltke

 

Fallacy #3: Safety

“In a row” is another way of saying “perfect.” I am wanting to be absolutely sure that I cannot fail when I finally decide to do whatever it is I’m putting off. For me, this manifests from a fear of being mocked or made fun of – I want every decision and action to be above reproach and beyond mocking.

Having your ducks lined up neatly is a lie regarding your relationship to the world – the truth is that you are powerless to control how the world will respond to your choices.

I hate this truth.

The really nasty part of this phrase is that it hides behind the perfectly valid idea of preparing and doing your homework. Being prepared is absolutely a wise thing to do, in all situations. But hiding behind the idea of preparation instead of acting, is cowardice.

To put a stake in the heart of this lie, you have to be honest with yourself. You have to be willing to ask whether you have developed a robust plan, and have the skills and capabilities to execute the plan. If not, then your plan has to change to include gaining the skills and resources. When you have the plan and the wherewithal, you have to acknowledge that truth and execute!

 

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Yes, life takes preparation. Yes, life demands your time, energy, and resources. Yes, life throws punches like a hardened boxer. Your life is not out of your control. Your goals are not attainable by only luck and fortune. You have the incredible power of choice, and the freedom to execute that choice.

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity

— Seneca (Disputed)