I think I can, I think I can

[Author’s Note: This entry was originally published on 7/24/2012 on BlogOfManly.com]

God has a funny way of explaining the nature of my relationship to Him through my relationship to my daughter. I can’t even begin to guess the number of times God has revealed some aspect of our relationship to me this way. In fact, I understand so much better know why God has us refer to Him as “Father” than I ever could have without children.

So God laid some wisdom on me again that way today. I had just sent Olivia to her room for disobedience, and I was coming in to check on her. She asked me if she could come out, which I said she could, as soon as she made her bed. Her bed making skills, at 3 and a half, are not spectacular – no quarters bouncing off sheets – but caring for our belongings is a lesson Maria and I are trying to teach her.

Olivia whines and tells me that she needs me to do it, because she can’t. Now, keep in mind that I had watched her make her own bed yesterday afternoon after her nap, ALL BY HERSELF. So I reminded her of such. She didn’t have much to say in response, and slowly began making her bed.

As I left her room, I was muttering to myself about how much I wish she would accept and take responsibility for what she IS capable of, and also to accept what she IS NOT capable of, and ask for help.

What specifically came to mind was her swimming – given that it is summer time, we are going to the pool more, and more than once Olivia has walked off into the deeper end of the pool, absolutely convinced she can swim. Being the responsible parents Maria and I are, she is always wearing a float of some sort, so she is in no real danger, but she doesn’t understand that. She has also taken swimming lessons, despite insisting that she already knows how to swim. She refused to put her own face in the water, and even asked for help!

But in that moment about bemoaning Olivia’s disconnect between her idea of what she can and can’t do, and what she is actually capable of, God hit me upside the head.

You’ll find that my descriptions of how God gets my attention are rarely soft and friendly, but always in love. Now, I am not one to claim that I hear God literally speaking to me, instead I tend to hear from Him through repetition in the world around me. But God clearly laid on my heart that I too have a disconnect in what I believe I am capable of, and what He has built and empowered me to do. Oh, Snap.

One of my many character flaws is that unless I am perfect at something, I am unwilling to accept that I have any ability to do it. Take writing! My life coach and I had a heated debate about whether I should consider myself a writer until I had been published. I am my own worst critic. My critic has been a positive attribute at my points in my life, driving me by turns to academic performance and professional success.

But God’s power is not made perfect in my strength or success. I am only now coming to really own the fact that God has given me incredible talents in several arenas of life, but that I do not have any desire to succeed under my own power. I do not understand why God has given me gifts he has not given others, but I do understand that each of us having unique gifts creates needs for other people in our lives. However, the level of success I can achieve on my own is nothing compared to the eternal and present day benefits God has in mind, and that is the success I desire now.

Unfortunately, the critic who has served me well in the past is now a stumbling block. Because now, much like Moses in Exodus, when God lays on my heart to go do something, my initial response is that I can’t, I am not capable. To which I now understand that, assuming God responds at all like I do to Olivia (which is NOT a safe assumption, thankfully), then He sighs, and reminds me of when I have already proven I am capable.

How did I respond to this prompting from God? I mentally acknowledged the truth, and went to God in prayer, asking Him to reveal to me the areas I am capable but not acknowledging, and the areas I am not capable, but keep telling myself that I am. I don’t have a clear answer yet, but I’ll keep you posted.

Men, you have unique talents and gifts from God. They may (likely) are not the gifts you would have chosen, but you cannot deny your talents. God created you exactly as you are with intention, purpose, and the raw materials to fulfill these callings. I firmly believe that God never calls us to do anything He doesn’t also give us the resources to accomplish. “I can’t” is never an appropriate answer to His call.