My wife and I just finished watching The King’s Speech, and I am surprised at how much I enjoyed the movie. Specifically, I resonated with two themes strongly.
Living in Fear
The central story of the movie is how “Bertie” <?> struggles to overcome a life-long stammer, as his father, King George the 5th, draws ill and passes, and his older brother David insists on maintaining a relationship with a divorced woman, and thus ultimately abdicates the thrown.
The overarching theme throughout this movie is Bertie’s fears, manifesting in his stammer. In desperation, Bertie meets with Lionel Logue, an experienced but non-credentialed speech therapist. Logue and Bertie have a series of encounters, with mixed success, throughout the course of the movie.
The relationship between Bertie and Lionel is highly enjoyable, and I’ll speak to that part momentarily. However, Lionel is quick to push Bertie to examine his fears and the behaviors and punishments from his childhood, to force Bertie to understand that his stammer is a learned behavior.
During the portion of the film when Bertie’s father passes, and his brother David, King Edward VIII, is wrestling with the responsibilities of being the king, Bertie snaps at Lionel. What was exposed in that moment so powerfully for me, was that Bertie both feared and desired the greatness of being king. Bertie makes it clear, throughout the story, that he does not believe he is fit to be king because of his stammer, yet clearly also recognizes himself as the correct choice over his brother.
Let’s be clear, I’ll never be the king of England. However, the fear and desire of greatness is certainly a feeling I too have with writing this book. I want to finish it. I want to help many many people to find joy. I want it to be wildly popular and beloved the world over! I want to make the New York Times’ Best Seller list. I want to laugh in awe of the number of languages it has been translated into. I do want those things.
And yet I fear all of those things. I comfort myself with lies about how “its my first book, there is no way you’re book will reach an audience that size.” Is there a healthy truth in that? Perhaps. But I also recognize it as a limiting belief, as a lie I tell myself to try and cushion my ego if I don’t accomplish those things. And if I don’t make the NYT Best Seller’s List? I’ve still written a book! However, I’ve gotten off track. I fear the greatness I may expose myself to if I finish this book.
I am incredibly thankful that I don’t have a speech impediment like Bertie does, but I know my fear manifests itself in other arenas. I am thankful to have seen this movie now, even as I tell myself how silly it is for me to compare my fears of “greatness” (see what I did with the quotes there?) to the weight of becoming king of England with a speech impediment. That, in and of itself, is another awesome lie. No, the levels of “greatness” between publishing a book and being king of England aren’t remotely comparable. But the paralyzing fear is the EXACT. SAME. EMOTION.
It Takes Another Man
I mentioned before the relationship between Bertie and Lionel. Bertie insists on being formal, and refuses to call Lionel anything other than “Logue”. Lionel, however, refuses to treat Bertie as royalty, and insists on calling him by his childhood name, “Bertie”. Bertie and Lionel develop an incredible level of trust through most of the movie, as Lionel explores Bertie’s childhood and fears. At the climax of the movie, Bertie and Lionel have a falling out as Bertie comes to realize Lionel’s lack of credentials and fears he has embarrassed himself. The exchange between the two is fantastic, but what stuck in my brain and vibrated like an arrow hitting the target, was this quote:
My job was to give them faith in their own voice, and let them know a friend was listening. – Lionel Logue, The King’s Speech
I am beginning to accept now that I will be a life coach at some point in the future. When, and to what extent, are clearly unknown. But Lionel’s quote about giving men, Soldiers returning from World War I, faith in their own voice and letting them know a friend is listening is EXACTLY what I want my mission to be. I want to help men find themselves, and ultimately find joy in this life.
However, there is another facet of Bertie’s relationship with Lionel that I feel is very telling and an axiom of life: the fact that Lionel is a man. Bertie meets with Lionel at the behest of his wife <?>. His wife, played by Helena Bonham Carter, is incredibly supportive, loving, encouraging, and in general an excellent source of support. But she could not help Bertie overcome his stammer. Ultimately it took Lionel, a fellow man, with enough confidence in himself to speak to Bertie as an equal, and ultimately call out Bertie for his fears, that began Bertie’s healing. I firmly believe that men need other men as friends, confidants, and challengers. Clearly, Bertie had the real power in the relationship in being the Duke of York and eventually King of England. But in their relationship, what mattered was trust and respect, not position. And that trust and respect, coupled with Lionel’s fearlessness at speaking to Bertie as an equal, was the lifeline needed for Bertie to begin climbing out of his hole.
Men need other men both as supporters and challengers, in order to grow.