A blood-curdling scream erupts. But not from me.
I had turned my face slightly to the right. It is so dark, yet I can see where my face points, as if I am somehow emitting light.
I jerk my head back to the left in frustration.
Everything I need in life right now is to my right. If I can only turn my head so I can see to walk that way.
I try to shuffle to the right, keeping my face turned. My foot hits something from and I stumble. I inadvertently look to the right. The scream is louder, closer. Terrifying. I jerk away.
What can I do? I feel a clock ticking, time moving inevitability forward. I curse the my own mortality. I literally feel like I am suffocating, every step I don’t take.
Whatever stands to my right seems to inch closer, somehow weighing me down without even touching me.
I squeeze my eyes closed, cram my fingers in my ears, and turn to the right. The scream cuts through my heart, liquifies my resolve. And the smell! Burning, singed. I can hear the creature gasping as I turn back.
I cannot do this. I don’t know what stands between me and my own life, but am I worth its pain? Who am I to cause another creature such pain so that I can live? Am I worthy of that?
I wallow briefly in my indecision.
I steel my resolve, summon my will to live – to genuinely and truly live. I vow to live my life worthy of this creature’s pain and sacrifice for me.
But live I will.
I stand straight and tall, shoulders back, and realize that no matter what I am about to experience, my art and my life are worth this temporary discomfort and sacrifice.
I snap to my right and face full on this creature, this oppression, this weight.
There is no scream, no smell of burning flesh. Only a wispy, rapidly dissipating dark cloud. And a strange smell of hope, freedom.
A smile crawls across my lips, as I take my first step.
I knew that creature after all, it was my own fear.
“When you face the fear it evaporates. Shadows cannot withstand the light.”
~LeAura Alderson
