[Author’s Note: This entry was originally published on 8/6/2012 on BlogOfManly.com]
This week, I have been watching some of the most amazing examples of God’s creation demonstrate their incredible skills in the Olympics. I must confess, this is the first year I have really watched the Olympics with more than a passing interest, largely because my wife loves watching gymnastics. NBC has really done a nice job of making the athletes more human, and I am really enjoying their efforts.
So here is the scene: NBC is dragging out Phelps’s silver medal (#18) and gold medal (#19). Interspersed with Phelps’s races, the focus shifts to the American women’s gymnastics team stepping up and owning the floor. During the whole production, I find that I am enjoying the images of the parents of the athletes, sharing in their children’s agony and joy. I love the stories of how the athletes came to be where they are, the incredible level of focus, determination, and willingness to sacrifice for a greater good that they all exhibit. I try to put myself in the shoes of those parents, looking at my own children, wondering if I would have the strength and stomach to support them chasing a dream like the Olympics. There is no question that climbing to that level of competition requires a commitment of time and money for which few have the fortitude.
Then a commercial break – and the Proctor and Gamble commercial saluting Moms plays again. It is a really good commercial, and fun to watch. I think there are at least four different versions, and all tug at the heart strings. I love the people stories!
But then I got mad. Really mad.
Not because Phelps should have taken one more stroke in the 200 fly, but instead glided to the wall and took silver.
I was reflecting on being a parent of an Olympic athlete, and the imagery of the parents of the athletes. And then it hit me that the parents shown are predominately mothers only. And I began to wonder, where are the dads?
For these athletes, this competition is likely the most important event in their life to date! How could any father choose to miss this? I understand that life happens. So maybe the missing dads have a legitimate excuse for not attending. But I guarantee I would move heaven and earth to support my child at any event that was important to them, much less the OLYMPICS.
Now let me be clear, there were some dads clearly in attendance, so please don’t miss my point here. The message clearly transmitted by the imagery and commercials is that the moms are what count, and seeing a dad in attendance (or by himself) is an anomaly.
So back to the P&G commercial. Mothers are critical in the lives of their children, there is no question. But fathers are critical too, and in some circles considered to have a larger impact than the mother in the life of a child. I’m not bashing single mothers – they are incredible women to take on the responsibility all by themselves. But I am mad that P&G isn’t airing an analogous commercial for dads. Fathers teach their children to trust, how to control their strength, how to live with integrity, and what to expect from their own marriages, among other things.
Chewing on all of this, I begin to think about the impact that a missing dad might have on a budding athlete. How many of these athletes might be at the Olympics because they are driven for a measure of love and acceptance that they never received from their dads? How many might be trying to prove to their missing dad that they have value and worth? That they are capable and deserving of love and affection? Is it possible that for some of these athletes, the Olympics is a demonstration of the lengths they will go to in order to find respect and acceptance? To forsake everything for a chance to stand atop a podium and be awarded a medal, for all the world to see? To be loved and adored by the entire world? What will it benefit an athlete to gain the whole world, if he loses his soul?
My heart breaks for any athlete, and in fact any human being, who feels they must sacrifice themselves on the altar of the world to try and find the love, affection, and acceptance that their own dad should have given them. Because let’s be honest, every human had a father at some point.
If you are in the unfair position of not having felt the love, affection, acceptance, and respect from your father, take heart! There is a Father who wants to provide all of that and more to you! He *already* loves, affirms, accepts, and respects you, right where you are! There is a reason God has man refer to him as “Father” – because that is the role He can fill in your life. Cry out to God and let Him fill you up!
If you are a father, you must accept responsibility for your influence on their lives! You get the choice whether to fill them with love, respect, affirmation, courage, strength, and confidence – or not. Whether or not you had any desire to be a father, God has called you into this role, so you must man up, put on your big boy pants, and make the right choice. Being a father is a privilege and a blessing!